How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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