It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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