A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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