Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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