On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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