i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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