I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize