Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize