if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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