I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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