That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize