I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize