Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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