naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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