My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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