the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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