Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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