I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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