swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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