They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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