She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
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It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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