You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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