I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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