All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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