I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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