Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize