why didn't you poke me back
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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