I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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