eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize