i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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