Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All the doctor said was why
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize