This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize