i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize