Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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