Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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