My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize