I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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