Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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