he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize