bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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