Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize