i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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