we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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