A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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