Please, let me fuck your mom
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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