in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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