You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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