My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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