the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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