I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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