Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize