Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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